Kanye West is poised to release So Help Me God, Swish, Waves, The Life of Pablo his 7th full-length album at any moment now. In celebration of the producer/rapper’s illustrious 11 year career (fun fact, College Dropout celebrated its 11th birthday yesterday), I want to explore how we discuss Kanye, his life, and his music. Whenever his music comes up in conversation, one person will say something loosely based off this statement:
“I love Kanye’s music, but I can’t stand his personality.”
If you would have asked me what I thought of the MC a couple years ago, I probably would have said something similar, and it’s not to say this opinion is unprovoked. However, I’ve grown to take issue with it; it’s too easy to dismiss Kanye as just megalomaniac that craves the spotlight. About a month ago I stumble upon a video of positive Kanye moments that lead me to take a second look at Kanye and his music.
Dr. West & Mr. Yeezy
If you watched any portion of either of those videos I shared above, you’re probably asking the same question I did: Why does Kanye seem to have two very opposed personalities, and why does he make the negative one so public? Without a direct link into Kanye’s inner thoughts, there is no way we come to a definitive answer. Fortunately for us, we have the next best thing: his body of musical work (I’ll talk about this more in a bit). Based off of what I’ve listened to, I don’t believe Kanye is a cocky man, I think he’s insecure.
Unpacking the Music
I know it’s borderline outlandish to make that claim about the most egotistical celebrity of our time, but hear me out. If we listen to Kanye’s music, there is a lot we can learn about his life at the time, and how he developed as a person. In the interest of time, these are the major highlights of what I take away from listening to his music catalogue:
- Spaceship on “College Dropout” – Like many Millenials, Kanye went through the frustration of working a 9-5 job, doing something as menial as folding shirts while feeling like he was worth much more than that.
- School Spirit (skits included) on “College Dropout” – Later on in the album, Kanye arrives to the conclusion that the American Dream he has been sold was a lie. Rather than staying in his lane, he decides to go off the beaten path and pursue his goal of listening to the very album that this series of songs ends up on.
- Through the Wire on “College Dropout” – After suffering a severe jaw injury in a car accident, Kanye had to have his jaw wired shut. He ended up creating this song and performing it while his jaw was wired shut.
- Gold Digger on “Late Registration” – One year after his debut on, Kanye gained fame, fortune, and a little bit of notoriety. This prideful yet paranoid song is about his awareness of people (namely women) that are only interested in him because of his accolades, not him.
- Can’t Afford No Gas/We Broke/Imposter (skits) on “Late Registration” – These skits are a dedication to the “elite” fraternity of broke men he was part of while growing up. The climactic end of the skit comes to head when the leader of Phi Broke discovers that Kanye was faking poor, thus shunning him.
- Welcome to Heartbreak on “808s and Heartbreak” – Losing his mother (which he blames himself for) in 2007 and breaking off his first engagement in 2008, Kanye released his album of love ballads (and my personal favorite) “808s and Heartbreaks”. The second song on the album “Welcome to Heartbreak” features Kanye lamenting, feeling like he’s wasted his life in favor of a successful career and luxury.
- Paranoid on “808s and Heartbreak” – As the title suggests, the song is all about an unnamed woman in Kanye’s life (presumably his ex) and the paranoia she experiences in their relationship.
- Gorgeous on “MBDTF” – More than a year removed from the South Park episode that featured the “Kanye is a gay fish” joke, Kanye dropped the line “Chock a south park writer with a fish stick,” being just one of many examples of Kanye holding a grudge over something seemingly harmless.
- Runaway on “MBDTF” – This song fits in with the rest of the “808s and Heartbreak” album. A song about an unnamed love interest (likely Amber Rose, who he was dating around the release of this album) has to deal with the headache of an imperfect Kanye as a love interest. His best advice to the woman is to stay away from him to avoid heartbreak and disappointment.
- Lost in the World on “MBDTF” – The initial series of pairings on Kanye’s first verse is actually a poem that Kanye wrote for his now wife Kim Kardashian, noting the importance of the good and the bad in this relationship. While he was dating Amber Rose at the time, the pairings are suggesting that Kanye is torn when deciding whether he should pursue this relationship or not.
Making Sense of it All
Alright, we’ve got this complete mess of songs that cover a wide range of subjects, everything from love, success, and a hatred for working at the GAP. The most common theme that is consistent in all of his albums is a mistrust of relationships. In “Late Registration” he feels betrayed by lewd women and the people he grew up with once he tasted success. In “808s and Heartbreak” he feels betrayed by past lovers and to an extent himself for trading those few positive relationships for his success. And on “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” he blames himself for all the messes he’s made throughout his career.
When I see Kanye get involved in a seemingly petty argument, I see a man who is acting out of defense. He’s said in an interview “You know when somebody calls you crazy enough times you start to believe it? I almost got scared of the idea of going crazy.” That quote reads to me like a man who internalizes every piece of criticism he ever receives, and then believes it to be personal (need I delve into the twitter feud with Wiz Khalifa?). It only makes sense that he would lash out and try to prove even the slightest insult wrong. I’ve come to respect celebrities that are public about their flaws, because who doesn’t have flaws? It’s the flaws in us all that make us relatable, not the monumental achievements.
Kanye’s Pursuit of Happiness
The one thing Kanye has wanted throughout his whole music career is to have a sense of belonging. “Welcome to Heartbreak” is the perfect example of illustrating this point. Just think about this, there was a moment in your life where one of the world’s most famous people was probably jealous of your humble life with a stable family. Isn’t that pretty crazy?
Today, Kanye has finally found that happiness that I think we’re all deserving of. Say what you will about Kim Kardashian, but Kanye found somebody to love, and if you ask this armchair psychologist, I think they look genuinely happy together
. At the end of the day, don’t we all just want to be loved? Good for Kanye that he could find that missing piece in his life.